Feel great naked

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No matter what shape or size you are, you’ll look and feel great all the time when you have body confidence. As Nikki Goldstein reports, we can all be in love with the skin we’re in.

Very few women are blessed with a terrific body image; in fact, one Australian magazine poll suggested 99 per cent of women would like to change something about their bodies. In my  life, I’ve discovered that great self-image, along with an abiding sense of confidence in our bodies and the way they look, is not something we’re born with – it’s something we develop, like a muscle that gets stronger the more we use it.

I remember being a voluptuous teenager and feeling absolutely desperate that I couldn’t fit into the cigarette-leg jeans that were fashionable at the time. It took many years, and a great deal of work on myself, to come to terms with the fact I was never going to wear Levi’s 501 jeans and look like Ali MacGraw (my childhood beauty icon). It’s funny to think how tough we women are on ourselves. We might imagine that the only way to have real body confidence would be to perfect our physiques. It’s no surprise that we’re spending vast sums of money on Botox, plastic surgery and gym memberships in the hope of compensating for our supposed flaws. Ironically, body confidence is not a given just because a woman is thin or physically perfect. Having met some of the ‘most beautiful women on the planet’ (models and actresses), I’ve discovered that unless our eyes are trained to see beauty in ourselves, we may only see ugliness, even when the mirror reflects a lovely image back to us.

It’s also interesting to discover that the process of accepting oneself is not static, but an ongoing and evolving internal dialogue that needs to be renegotiated as the years pass. I see, now that I’ve developed into a mature woman, that I’m faced with the prospect of having to make friends with my body all over again. Nowadays I am not concerned with fitting into skin-tight jeans, but I am noticing new stretch marks creep across my thighs, dimpling where there was plump firmness and age spots where there was creamy, even skin tone. I realise to age gracefully I must do more than accept the marks of time as they etch themselves on my body. I must actually embrace and love these changes as part of the cycle of nature. 

Body confidence has nothing to do with our outer appearance. You don’t get it as the result of going to the gym, or plastic surgery, or even being born beautiful. In truth, it’s a state of mind that enables you to feel good about yourself, no matter how you look. Discover how you can develop body confidence.

Exercise yourself into shape

The benefits of exercise are well documented. We know physically fit people live longer, are less prone to cancer, heart disease and diabetes, are less likely to get depressed and are better able to cope with life’s ebbs and flows. Exercise is good for both the mind and body but what many people may not know, or underestimate, is the relationship between exercise and body confidence.

The latest research into exercise and mood shows that people who exercise are much less critical of their bodies. A 1997 study by London University found that women who regularly participated in sport (the researchers looked at netballers, rowers and body builders) have more positive body images than those who did not play sport. And it’s not just because exercise burns kilojoules and keeps body fat low that you feel good about yourself when you exercise. It increases the levels of pleasure-boosting hormones such as adrenaline and lowers levels of stress hormones such as cortisol – so after you exercise your body is flooded with ‘happiness chemicals’ which remain in the blood for hours.

Kate, a 36-year-old mother of two, believes her weekly tennis matches give her confidence in her body. “You feel good about yourself when you achieve fitness goals and learn to celebrate your body for what it can do rather than how it looks,” she explains. And you don’t have to be Superman or Superwoman to enjoy the health and mood-boosting benefits of exercise. A brisk daily walk will deliver a host of benefits. Low blood pressure, increased levels of protective HDL or high-density lipoprotein (the good cholesterol),  improved insulin sensitivity, lower blood sugar levels, reduced risk of cardiovascular disease and osteoporosis, decreased risk of colon and breast cancer, depression and stress are all the result of moderate, regular exercise.

Make positive affirmations

Discovering ways to accept yourself, warts and all, is a fast track to building body confidence. One exercise that will help you accept your body is to do a ‘mirror meditation’. This exercise involves standing in front of a mirror and slowly undressing. Once you are naked take a few minutes to look at your body and praise it, saying affirmations out loud. Psychotherapists and cognitive behavioural therapists recommend saying things such as: ‘Thank you, body, for being strong and healthy’ or ‘Thank you, body, for being an expression of who I am’. They maintain it’s important to be gentle with yourself, as this exercise can be confronting and bring up negative self-talk when you get started. If you do notice negative thoughts about your body, don’t suppress them. The best idea is to allow them to surface and then let them go.

Keep a body diary

Charting your progress on your path to body confidence is essential. In his book Every Day Counts (HarperCollins, 1999), fitness consultant Mark McKeon says, “Recording your daily achievements puts a deadline on your goal of a healthy and vibrant lifestyle.” One of the best ways to do this is to start a ‘body diary’. It can take the form of an ordinary notebook or a diary, but it must have space for writing notes. The idea is to plan, and write down, daily, weekly, monthly and yearly health goals. A daily goal might take the form of ‘drink more water’. While a weekly goal may be ‘do one yoga session’ and a yearly goal might be ‘run a marathon’. It’s certainly important to stick to your plans, but try not to be inflexible with yourself. There are times when it’s not appropriate to push yourself too hard – especially if it creates more stress or unrealistic expectations. Write down your achievements and make comprehensive notes about how you felt about yourself and your body when you got positive results.

Try creative visualisation

Creative visualisation is a powerful tool that helps us connect with the unconscious. It aims to remove the outside distractions of everyday life, allowing the practitioner to quietly retreat inside and search for peace and harmony. But unlike other relaxation practices, which can be passive, creative visualisation involves an active component – the practitioner brings positive images and ideas to the forefront of the mind to bring about neuro-physical and psychological changes. Sports coaches and New Age teachers alike have used this profound healing method to get tangible results.

Do it now

In his book 8 Weeks to Optimum Health (Little, Brown Book Group, 2005), Dr Andrew Weil says, “In some cases, visualisation can produce complete healing responses; in others, it can boost the effectiveness and mitigate the toxicity of conventional therapies. To increase the chance of it working, you must use images that have strong emotional resonance. You are much more likely to activate your healing system if you use emotionally charged images.” 

After you have risen in the morning, sit on the floor for five minutes with your eyes closed. Bring to mind an image of yourself as a strong, healthy, vibrant, happy person. You may have experienced a time in your past when you felt this way, or you may need to conjure a time in the future when you’ll feel fit and vital. See yourself as a powerhouse of energy and enthusiasm and in time these feelings will become part of your waking consciousness.

Dress for success

When it comes to body confidence, many women report shopping for clothes is the time they really drop their bundles. Try these tips and techniques from Danielle Draper of Sydney boutiques Attic and Arida to help you feel great when you’re trying on clothes while shopping.

• Everyone has parts of themselves they want to cover up. The key is to dress for the part of your body that you like; if you have good legs show them off. If you have great breasts don’t conceal them. 
• Exploit your femininity. It doesn’t matter if you have a tummy or round hips; learn to enjoy them as part of your womanliness.
• Wear good, supportive underwear so the clothes you try on are seen to advantage.
• Invest in a really good piece that you love and can wear with a few different items in your wardrobe.
• Try on something you don’t think you’d ever wear – miracles happen when you think outside of the box.
• Don’t worry about how you are going to be viewed by the salesperson – if you don’t feel they’re there to help you, walk out of the store.

Positive reading

Need to boost your body confidence? Take a cue from these inspiring books:

• Love Your Body by Louise L. Hay (Hay House, 2004)
• I Am Beautiful: Affirmations for Women by Diane Mastromarino (Blue Mountain Press, 2006)

Photography: Steven Chee. Hair & make-up: Karen Hopwood. Styling: Nadene Duncan.