In search of happiness

We’ve reaped the rewards of women’s lib, but are we any happier? For centuries women and men have sought the answer to what makes women happy. Do we get happiness from having our own way, or by gratifying a deeply felt longing?

Does it come through the attainment of riches, or through engaging in frivolous activity without guilt? Perhaps it lives in having bountiful energy that matches our children’s verve, or can we get it from simply having a good night’s sleep? Surely being hotly pursued by the lover we have, or desire, will do it? An afternoon spent in conversation with our girlfriends may bring it on, or perhaps even the simplest action of putting one foot in front of the other is enough?

What gives us enduring happiness? I have been reading Susan Maushart’s What Women Want Next (The Text Publishing Company, 2005) to gain some insights. Her book is a witty, in-depth look at feminine fulfilment in a post-feminist world. Combining her own rich life experience with the findings of a number of studies into wellbeing, Susan postulates several intriguing notions.

Susan examines the varied aspects of life that contribute to our sense of wellbeing. “A satisfying, committed relationship is one of the most important pieces of the wellbeing puzzle,” she writes, “albeit one of the trickiest ones to fit into place.” She can say that again! Money and possessions do make us happy, to some degree. Money enables choice, and choice is definitely linked to our sense of wellbeing. Autonomy, Susan says, could be the biggest contributor to what makes a woman happy.

Another essential ingredient is having a clearly defined role and performing rewarding work. Self-esteem is a by-product of competence and having our well-executed efforts recognised. Other components are simple pleasures such as sharing and eating food, getting enough sleep (as any mother or shiftworker will surely relate), and relationships that give us a sense of belonging.

Wants and needs

Sociologist Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) put forward the ‘hierarchy of needs’ theory for what motivates all human beings. He proposed that all humans have the same needs and that one set of needs must be met before we are ready to seek to attain the next. Our most basic needs are those necessary for survival – food, shelter, oxygen and water. These are required before we can progress in search of safe environments, then love and belonging, and then finally the need for self-esteem and self-actualisation (the desire to fulfil our potential).
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