The right time for love

After a decade of bumping into one another while following separate paths, a friendship and then shared heartbreak over the loss of loved ones, Paul Ah Kuoi and Danyel Simich found true love, writes Jenna Moore.

Sometimes doing things back to front works out beautifully, and in ways that could never have been anticipated. Such was the case with Auckland-based couple, Danyel Simich and Paul Ah Kuoi, who turned a long-standing casual friendship into an intimate mutual support network, fell in love, became parents, and then exchanged engagement rings.

It all began in 1990: Danyel was 27 years old, a sophisticated girl-about-town, focused on her media design career; Paul was just 19, happily ensconced in a new relationship with his 17-year-old girlfriend and starting his second year of a Bachelor of Commerce degree at Auckland University.

The pair met when Danyel began seeing a good friend of Paul’s. “I met Paul’s mate when I was out dancing at a nightclub and we became friends,” she recalls. “It wasn’t a serious relationship: we just spent time together. I was at a stage in my life where I wasn’t looking for any sort of commitment. I was just interested in different experiences and in having a good time.”

In those days, Danyel and Paul’s friend spent much of their socialising time with Paul and his girlfriend. “Paul was always there in the background,” says Danyel. “I used to look at him and think, ‘typical – the nice ones always have girlfriends’.”

“I was impressed by Danyel,” says Paul. “She was the queen of the high street – glamorous and she always dressed well – ‘classy business’, I’d call her style then. I thought she was very attractive, and she was a woman. She was in her twenties and a lot older than the rest of us.”

When Danyel’s casual relationship ended, Paul and Danyel also went their separate ways. He and his girlfriend carved out a long-term relationship, and were an item for 12 years. “We were engaged: we bought a house and an investment property but somehow, never got around to getting married,” says Paul.

In the meantime, Danyel was travelling the world, working in advertising and design and enjoying her independence. “I was earning decent money; I bought an apartment and I had various boyfriends,” she recalls. “I lived with one boyfriend for six or seven years, after which my sister came and lived with me. During that period, Paul and I lived totally separate lives.”

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