Second time lucky

“The final sign was on a weekend getaway marking the anniversary of our first date. We went to a country cottage and above the bed was a beautiful wrought-iron dragonfly,” recalls Suzi fondly.

“I’d known the moment was coming to ask her to marry me; seeing that dragonfly sealed it for me, then and there,” adds Steve. Family remains the number one priority: Nick, Steve and Suzi share the comings and goings of Matt and Jake on a half-weekly basis. Last October, on Steve’s fortieth birthday, the boys wrote on his birthday card: ‘We love the happiness you share together and are hanging on for the ride.’

“Life’s a roller-coaster and on this ride so far, we’ve had a very long and enjoyable ride up with no sign of the down,” says Steve. “I, for one, learned from my past. The past is a steep learning curve. To get a second chance is a chance at change. It was also a chance to really think about what’s important in life and how to get it. While I wasn’t consciously thinking of re-partnering before I met Suzi, I had considered a list of attributes I may one day want in a partner. There were the ‘must have’, the ‘would like’ and the ‘nice to have but not essential’. Suzi scored all of them: 10 out of 10; A-plus,” Steve admits, smiling.

“To be loved absolutely and to love absolutely – that’s something to treasure. And being able to bring all the boys into that love… no wonder every day is a good day,” adds Suzi. 

Tips for blended families

Psychologist Dr Helen Stallman from the Parenting and Family Support Centre, University of Queensland, gives Suzi and Steve top marks for the efforts they’ve put into creating a new family identity.

Dr Stallman suggests:

• Allow time for all members of the family to adjust to the new home set-up.


• Make time to listen to what all the children think and feel. Help them manage their emotions.


• Involve children in family meetings that determine rules which apply to everyone in the household.


• Spend time developing positive relationships with your partner’s kids.


• Maintain special time with your own children.


• Support your partner, and vice versa – children know all about the ‘divide and conquer’ theory.

Photography: Sam McAdam. Hair & make-up: Kristy Pitman.

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