Improve your body image and self-perception

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Forget diets and obsessing over your weight. The power of the mind is a far greater tool in the search for self-acceptance, writes Holly Davis.

As Franklin D. Roosevelt said: “Do something. If it works, do more of it. If it doesn’t, do something else.” There are many different ways to achieve a goal. It seems though
that we are mostly using one, or perhaps two, strategies repeatedly, regardless of whether or not they work. Franklin D. Roosevelt suggested that if what we are doing is failing us, doing ‘something else’ is our answer.

Getting crystal clear about our desires can only help.
I haven’t known my exact weight since my mid-twenties. I have avoided weighing scales as one might avoid badly lit alleyways at night. Fear and dread live there and I decided back then, after 10 years of every trick diet known to women, that it’s best to steer clear of the scales, and that speed dieting doesn’t work. Since then, I have relied on my clothing as my weight indicator. I judge my weight by what fits me comfortably or what’s in the wardrobe waiting for a time when it may. This works but means that getting dressed is a constant reminder of how good or bad I feel about myself at the time. What I desire is a body I love, self-acceptance and to stop comparing myself to everyone else.

Self perceptions
Do you know you are not fat, but feel that you must be just because you keep thinking you shouldn’t be the way you are? I am certain I am fat. Technically I am not overweight, though the relationship between the top half of my body and the lower half is hard to fathom. I think there was a switcheroo and I got someone else’s body from the waist down. I’m certain I am not alone in the unshakeable thought, ‘Something is wrong with me’.

The solution is simple: I’m moving to America where the clothes sizes fit my desired self-image! In America I would be my desired size 6. Clothing size numbers differ across the nations: an Australian 10 is a British 8, a Japanese 9, French 36, Italian 40 and German 34. Surely these figures are given far more power over our self-esteem and comfort than is healthy? Do you own clothes that have to be squeezed into? Do some items in your wardrobe inflict pain or leave telling welts on your skin once removed? Have you ever suffered through the day fearing the rip of a zip or seam? Why do we not buy the size that fits comfortably? Is it the dread of wearing the next size up and having to look at the number 12 or 16 or whatever it is as we dress?

As teenagers, whenever my sister teetered about in crippling heels or lay on the floor in order to get her jeans zipped up, my mother would knowingly chuckle, ‘Beauty knoweth no pain darling!’. Could it be that, obesity not withstanding, for many of us our weight issues may have less to do with the actual size of our legs, bottom, stomach or breasts, and more to do with the internal workings of our heads?

Chasing perfection
Eat less, exercise more and the weight will gradually reduce – who doesn’t know this? If it is this simple though, why is the weight loss industry one of the most lucrative and influential industries on the planet? Why are there pencil-thin women worrying that they are too big and many young adults starving themselves thin? Are we women our own worst enemies? We uphold and covet the ‘perfect body’, which is a size and shape that for many requires practical starvation and long hours of rigorous exercise. I suspect there are very few women alive who haven’t got at least one of a plethora of books, gadgets or tablets designed to help them attain a version of this perfection. Many of these aids may indeed help us reduce our body’s size, but what about the way we feel about ourselves once that is done? When the undesired kilos have gone we may still feel certain there is some better or different way we should look or feel. Basically, if we are thin but unhappy, what’s the point?

I reckon the best place to begin creating a healthy body is in your head; a healthy body begins with a healthy mindset. To that end, I suggest using our brains, for a change, and employing pens as their assistants.

Working the mind
The brain is a magnificent organ. When we enrol its assistance in paying attention to some specific outcome we desire, it will do its best to give it to us. The clearer and more specific we can be, the better. There is nothing our brains like more than being right, so a specific meaty problem to solve will send the brain off searching, and it won’t give up until it returns us an answer. If I ask you, ‘What is your best friend’s favourite colour?’ or ‘How high is the world’s tallest building?’ and you don’t know the answer, you probably soon will. Your brain will be filtering incoming data to get you the answer and it won’t stop until it gives it to you – be that a day, a week or a year later. Perhaps this helps explain the phenomenon of an answer we want that seems to come from nowhere when we are doing something quite unrelated.

This is our reticular activating system (RAS) at work. RAS is the name given to the reticular formation and its connections, found at the core of the brain stem between the medulla oblongata and midbrain. It is dedicated to filtering what enters our conscious and unconscious mind. Research has shown this to be the centre of arousal and motivation, and it is also involved in our sleeping cycle. Fibres from the reticular formation are also vital in controlling respiratory and cardiac rhythms, and other essential functions.

Our brains are bombarded by thousands of different messages and stimuli every second of the day. Our brain processes everything that we see, hear and sense. The RAS filters all these messages and determines which items will arouse our attention and which will not. This is the part of our brain at work when we are woken from the deepest sleep by our baby’s cries. It is the ever-present force that hears our name whispered across the room in a noisy crowd.

Our RAS determines what we pay attention to and it is the mechanism that has me reliably find available parking spaces at the front door of most places I go. How? Happily, I seem to have unwittingly programmed my brain to see available empty spots and I am always telling my friends (and my brain must be listening in and agreeing), ‘There is always a parking space for me, wherever I want to go’. I know other people who seem to have programmed their brains to see spaces that someone else is backing into. They are also quite vocal and certain that, ‘I can never find a place to park’. Obviously my RAS is not actually producing a space, but it is filtering for available rather than taken spaces.

In the same way, I believe it is possible to literally think yourself slimmer. Once you are aware of your RAS, you can direct your brain to seek desired material or outcomes, and this is where the pen comes into play. Writing is a powerful tool for directing your brain where you want it to look. By taking a little time to consider what outcomes you really want and by writing these down as specifically as possible, you give your brain something to filter for. Telling others what outcomes you are seeking seems to strengthen this tool.

Get what you want
Write your desired outcome down as clearly as possible and then simply wait for incoming data. Opportunities, ideas and circumstances seem to conspire to provide desired outcomes. I must speedily add this is not magic or voodoo and I am not suggesting that anything will eventuate without your direct involvement – sorry. No, I am suggesting that clarity and clear instruction can be employed to assist you for whatever it is you desire, including best health.

Here is a sample of some recent notes to my brain:

• By the end of this week I am walking three kilometres a day, noticing the beauty of the world I live in. 
• By July all my clothes fit comfortably. 
• From tonight I sleep peacefully and wake refreshed. 
• From now on I choose an active life filled with adventures. 
•  From my next meal on I choose vibrant, life-enhancing foods that will nourish me well.
• I am grateful for everything in my life that works, and grateful for the lessons I learn from what does not work as well as I would like it to. 
• I choose activities that contribute to robust health and abundant energy.

Words: Holly Davis.