In search of peace

The woman once known as Trinh Huegia finally found peace when she became Reverend Jue Ning Shih. By Linda Peatling.

Her ordained name means ‘peace and awareness’, but these two things haven’t always come easily to Reverend Jue Ning Shih. As a child growing up in war-torn Vietnam, she longed for a sense of peace amid the horrors surrounding her. When she arrived in Australia in 1979 as a 16-year-old refugee known as Trinh Huegia, she thought she would find serenity in her new land. But even after she graduated from university and started a career, feelings of peace eluded her. When her father suddenly passed away just a few months later, she was convinced she would never find it... until the day she stepped inside a Buddhist temple. Now, more than 20 years later, she feels at peace every single day in the monastery she has come to call her home, and the life she has come to call her own.

5am: A blanket of early morning fog engulfs the silent grounds of the Nan Tien Temple on the outskirts of Wollongong, NSW, but Reverend Ning, as she is known at the temple, has already been roused from sleep by her alarm clock and is dozing in the darkness of the small dormitory room she shares with one of her fellow nuns. “I give myself 15 minutes to get out of bed because it’s not always easy when it’s dark and cold,” she says. Nevertheless, it’s a Buddhist monastic tradition to rise before dawn, so by 5.30am she is donning her traditional morning robes. “We wear a grey work suit as our undergarment and put our day uniforms and ceremonial robes over the top,” she explains.

5.45am: Reverend Ning spends the next 20 minutes in private meditation before an enormous brass bell sounds to signal the dawn and call all 40 nuns living at the monastery to the main shrine for morning chanting. “Meditation is part of the Buddhist way of life and for me it’s a way of preparing for the day. I miss it if I don’t do it,” says Reverend Ning.

6.10am: The nuns step out in the dim morning light and make their way slowly and silently up the stairs to the main shrine. With seamless order, they enter the cavernous temple in a single line and take their places according to their role in the chanting ceremony. “I play a wooden block that has been carved into the shape of a fish, which is symbolic of remaining alert in your Buddhist practice,” explains Reverend Ning. The other nuns play drums, bells, metal bowls or brass vessels.

The chanting begins as all the nuns turn to face five enormous statues of Buddha, which represent concepts such as confidence, fearlessness, wealth, beauty, dignity, calmness and purity. “A Buddha is not a god but a person who has attained full enlightenment,” explains Reverend Ning. “We believe everyone has the potential to become a Buddha, but it might take many lifetimes to do it.”

During the next 40 minutes, the nuns softly chant the Buddhist sutras – the teachings of the original Buddha, who is said to have lived in Nepal about 2,500 years ago. “He was born a prince and led a pampered life until he ventured outside the temple walls,” explains Reverend Ning. “When he saw a decrepit old man, a person with disease and a corpse he realised no matter who you are, life eventually leads to old age, sickness and death, so he decided to renounce his crown and dedicate his life to finding a way to be free of suffering. We believe he found it through compassion, generosity, patience, truthfulness, kindness, morality, wisdom and selflessness, and these are what we dedicate our lives to cultivating within ourselves.”

7am: The chanting ends with a prayer to Buddha and the nuns leave the temple in silent procession. Once outside, they continue to walk around the temple grounds performing what they call walking meditation. “The aim is to clear the mind, concentrate on being in the moment and appreciate what’s around you,” explains Reverend Ning. Half an hour later, the walking meditation ends at the temple’s dining hall where the nuns take their places at a long wooden table. Following tradition, they will eat their simple meal of porridge, bread or noodles in silence. “Food doesn’t come easily to many people so we don’t take any meal for granted and we try never to overindulge,” says Reverend Ning. “To show our compassion for all living creatures, we also do not eat meat.”

8am: As mealtime ends, the nuns replace their robes with long aprons and head out to the temple gardens, which are designed to inspire meditation and reflect Buddhist beliefs. “We employ professional gardeners to manage the nine acres of grounds, but we also spend an hour a day looking after some of the plants. When you nurture a plant you relate to it as another living thing, and it also has a calming effect on you.”

9am: The nuns change into brown uniforms and go to their respective day jobs at the temple. As a branch of the Fo Guang Shan (Humanistic) Buddhist order, the Nan Tien Temple encourages visitors by holding tours, lectures and retreats, along with meditation, Tai Chi and vegetarian cooking classes. It also has an accommodation lodge, museum, tea-house and library. “The idea is that anyone can incorporate Buddhism into their daily lives – it’s not just for nuns and monks,” says Reverend Ning, who is the temple’s general manager. “Some days we have up to 400 tourists and students, or even thousands during Christmas time, so it keeps us on our toes.”

9.10am: Reverend Ning is joined by her colleague Reverend You to conduct a staff meeting about the upcoming Buddha’s Light International Association World Conference in October. “We employ about 50 staff to help run the temple and everyone is very busy preparing for the event,” says Reverend Ning.

“Of course, you don’t have to be Buddhist to work here but we hold classes for any staff who want a basic understanding of what it’s all about.”

11am: Returning to her office, Reverend Ning will spend much of her day sorting through paperwork. “I have the same things to do as any other general manager, so I’m glad I have a degree in accounting,” she smiles. While the life she led before her ordination feels like so long ago, it doesn’t take much to make it all seem like yesterday. “I was doing what was expected of me. My parents had been through so much that I wanted to make them proud. I went to university and started a career, but I was never really content. I didn’t know what I really wanted so I just worked hard and waited for something to show me the way.” Unfortunately, that something was the death of her father.

“I was so devastated,” she recalls sadly. “I was 25 and I’d lost my dad. I think that’s when I started to search for meaning in my life.” As fate would have it, that was also when a friend suggested she go to a Buddhist temple for some guidance.

“I agreed but I wasn’t expecting anything,” she recalls. To her surprise, however, as she sat down to pray, something changed within her. “It was an overwhelming feeling. I just thought: ‘This is what I’ve been searching for.’”

From that moment on, Trinh spent almost every weekend at the temple and studied Buddhism in her spare time, but it would be another 10 years before she was ready to take the ultimate plunge into her Buddhist destiny. “I didn’t rush into becoming a nun. I kept working and didn’t discuss too much with my family, because I knew they’d think they were losing me. When I finally made the decision, I knew it was right.” In secret, she flew to India for her ordination ceremony. “I had to cut my hair three times and vow to eliminate all my worries, to learn all of Buddhism and to serve all living beings,” she recalls. Her head was then shaved to symbolise her renunciation of worldly pleasures and worries, and three pieces of burning incense were placed on her head to produce permanent scars. “It was painful but it was the happiest day of my life.”

It wasn’t until she returned to Sydney as Reverend Jue Ning Shih that she found the courage to tell her family. “Even then I didn’t tell Mum directly; I told my sister and asked her to tell Mum,” she laughs. “Mum burst into tears as soon as she saw my shaved head. She thought she’d never see me again, but when I told her we could always visit, she was okay.”

2pm: Moved by recollections of her ordination 10 years ago, Reverend Ning takes a break and makes her way to the dining hall for lunch, which is much less formal than breakfast. “We always eat in silence, but we can have lunch any time between 11.30am and 2pm, so we don’t eat together,” she explains.

2.30pm: Regardless of how busy she is, Reverend Ning tries to take some time out every few days to continue her Buddhist studies in the silence of the temple library or the serenity of the gardens. “It helps me balance my role as general manager and my life as a nun; you can never learn too much,” she smiles. On her way back to the office, she stops at her favourite spot in the garden to collect fallen maple leaves.

“I dry them in my diary, then I write a Buddhist message on them, laminate them and sell them at our weekend stalls to raise money for the new community college we are going to build here,” she says. “I also do it for enjoyment, because they’re so beautiful.”

5.30pm: Every so often Reverend Ning will go to the public dining hall to help out with one of the vegetarian cooking classes, which are run by volunteers every Wednesday night. “Anyone can come to the classes. They’re fun and they’re all part of our wish to connect with the local community,” she explains.

6.30pm: The nuns gather once again in silence for their evening meal, which is followed by evening chanting. Tonight, it is also Reverend Ning’s turn to teach a public Tai Chi and meditation class. “Many people have discovered the benefits of Tai Chi and meditation, and I think they choose to come here because it’s so peaceful, even when it is a cold night.”

9pm: Reverend Ning returns to her office to finish off what she can before she makes her way to her dormitory where she will do more private study. “I was going to bed after midnight each night for a long while, but now I try to be asleep by 11pm,” she says. “My mum thought the only thing I would do as a nun was meditate in the temple day and night. Maybe many people believe that’s what Buddhist nuns and monks do, but when they come here they see how full our lives are I hope they also see how happy we are.” 

 

Photography: Scott Hawkins.