Turning points: May 07 – Andrea Travers

A simple act of goodwill, a flash of inspiration or deciding to seek help can change the course of your life. By Josephine Brouard and Karen Spresser.

Andrea Travers, 41, started drinking in her teens and spent her twenties dealing with alcohol addiction. Now, sober for more than 10 years, she is a wife, mother and successful businesswoman who wants to help others on the path to recovery.

“I was brought up in a great family. I had a good education and everything seemed fine. When I left school I worked full-time to put myself through university – I’d always been interested in social justice and completed a criminology degree.

“I started drinking when I was doing my HSC and believed it unleashed my creativity. I did very well and got great marks. I didn’t see that it was doing me any harm in the early days. Also, when you are that age there are a lot of people doing the same stuff, going out and getting plastered.

“What I did find, was that by my mid-twenties, I was drinking very differently from the way other people drank. I would go out and have some drinks but then I would leave so I could go home and drink the way I wanted to drink – which was to wipe myself out.

“Drinking became very much a focus in my life. It was clear I had no control over it. I knew if I picked up a drink I wouldn’t be able to guarantee that I could stop, go home and get up for work the next day, or meet my commitments with friends. I held down a job, but there were a lot of things that fell by the wayside.

“All along I thought my drinking was a symptom. I thought if I sorted out everything else in my life – work, my relationships – then I’d be able to drink like everyone else. Magically, that switch would be turned on and I could say, ‘Oh no, I’ve had a couple of drinks; I’ll have a coffee now,’ but that never happened for me.  

“I’m tiny so it doesn’t take a lot of alcohol to put me away, but I would drink much bigger men under the table. I was hospitalised once – I woke up and found myself in the casualty ward. I’d passed out and my blood alcohol count was 0.4.

“The hospital sent me to see a counsellor and that made me think maybe the problems in my life were coming from alcohol; that it was the cause, not the side effect. I said to myself, ‘If alcohol is the cause then I’d better stop’. But I couldn’t. I’d give up for a week, then it would seem like a good idea to have a drink. I’d try to have just one but I’d wake up the next day and not remember what had happened. Once I had one, I was gone.

“I would delude myself: ‘If I could give up for a week, I wasn’t an alcoholic,’ I thought, ‘I’m in control of it’. But I knew I wasn’t. I didn’t know what to do, or where to go. I got some help through an organisation at one stage and stopped drinking for a year, but then I just went out and started again.

“In the final year of my drinking, when I was coming up to turning 30, my oldest friend said to me: ‘You think drinking is cool and, really, it isn’t cool with you. You’re a person I admire, but when you drink you aren’t that person anymore – you’re just pathetic.’ She told me she had been wondering if she could still be my friend because she hated the way I was when I was drinking. I got off the phone and was equally mortified and angry.

“A couple of other things happened that made me seek help and stay with it. There was a major illness in my family and I couldn’t be there for anyone else – I was just a burden. I used to think my drinking only hurt me, but I realised it affected others. At this stage I was married and, unsurprisingly, things weren’t going well.

“While in counselling again I got a good job, which was terrific for my sense of self worth. My sobriety was strengthened by the arrival of my first child. That made a huge difference because I knew I had to get myself together. And that’s what happened. My daughter is now eight years old. Within a couple of months I went from a humourless, negative mindset to choosing to think differently. I realised the world wasn’t out to get me.

“I got lots of help from lots of people. I started to love the feeling of being sober. I haven’t drunk alcohol for 10 years and don’t miss it at all. It is a relief and a joy not to drink. It took me until I was 30 to hear something that is really so simple: if I didn’t pick up the first drink, I couldn’t get drunk.

“My life has changed in every way. I’m remarried and I have a three-year-old son as well as my daughter. I’m more successful now than I ever was. Fundamentally, I’m the same person but I don’t feel ashamed any more. I know how to relax and unwind, and how to express my feelings in a way that’s positive.

“Being sober feels like a gift I’m given every day. I couldn’t look after a pot plant when I was drinking and now I have two children. I know how much work goes into that, into a relationship and into being good at your job. All of that goes away with drinking; alcohol eclipses everything else. Once you remove it though, it’s like turning on the sun again.”

The Recovery Foundation

Andrea Travers and a group of friends who are in long-term recovery have started The Recovery Foundation to help others overcome addiction. A new not-for-profit organisation, it provides resources to help people maintain their recovery from alcohol or other drug dependencies and rebuild their lives. For more information, email info@recoveroz.com.au.

For help with alcohol addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous runs meetings Australia-wide. For more information, visit www.aa.org.au.

 

Photography: Scott Hawkins. Styling: Nicolas Sholl. Hair & make-up: David Novak Piper.