All in the Family

Many of us dream of giving underprivileged children a better life, but who actually takes the plunge and adopts a child from another country and culture? Josephine Brouard investigates.

Patricia Hoyle and Amy Ruo Rong now 4, from China

Single parent patricia Hoyle laughs ruefully as she remembers what she had to go through in order to become a mother to adorable Chinese-born Amy Ruo Rong, now four and a half years old. Diagnosed with endometriosis at 35 and newly alone after a broken relationship, the Sydney-based writer and editor says she did a lot of soul-searching before deciding to fly solo as a parent.

After spending almost three years on the infertility treatment roller-coaster, an experience Patricia, now 46, admits she would much rather erase from her memory, the determined woman started to investigate the possibility of adopting a child. “I never thought I stood a chance as a single woman but when I discovered adoption was possible, I was over the moon and wished I’d explored this option earlier. I was full of hope again and felt that at last I was on the right path.”
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As it transpired, a gruelling assessment process meant the adoption took almost three years, but finally Patricia was able to travel to Guangzhou, China, to collect her daughter. By now 43 years of age, Patricia remembers how overcome with emotion she was when 18-month-old Amy was first placed into her arms.

However, the wait wasn’t quite over – eight nerve-fraying days of yet more paperwork ensued, and Patricia also had to learn to nurse her baby, who was sick with a fever at the time. Finally though, mother and daughter were able to fly home to Sydney, both their lives irrevocably changed.

“Like the pangs of labour that fade from memory, everything I had been through to get Amy disappeared once we were together,” says Patricia. “I have never been happier or more fulfilled. Some people see me as some kind of ‘saint’ for rescuing a child, but for me it was simply about wanting to be a mother. Of course, like all mothers, I get tired and cranky sometimes and long for a Sunday lie-in!”

Much of Patricia and Amy’s contentment as a family stems from the time they spend together. Patricia has sacrificed some material comforts in order to look after Amy full-time, mostly doing her freelance work when Amy is asleep, but says she has no regrets whatsoever about her decision to curtail her lifestyle.
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