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Sleepovers are a rite of passage for kids and their parents. Whether you’re hosting or the parent of a guest, allowing a group of kids to spend the whole night together can be a nerve-wracking experience.  It can also be a whole lot of fun and earn you massive brownie points with the minors!

Before the night takes place, run through our checklist. It’s designed to help make the evening run smoothly, but it’s not exhaustive so please take any other precautions you consider sensible.

For the hostess:

1. Make sure you’ve spoken to all of the other parents and take note of who will be collecting each child and of any allergies or special requests. Set the ground rules in advance, explaining clearly who may attend, what movies can be watched and what food will be provided. It may be a good idea to monitor gadgets and toys - especially mobile phones or game machines that allow messaging. Try not to... read on below advertisment
   
   
   
   hover, but do keep an eye out for games that might go too far. Feel free to set ‘lights out’, but don’t be surprised if sleep is hard to come by!


2. Sit down with your child and decide how many kids to invite. Consider the size of the bedroom or living room designated as the sleeping area, and any other specifics of your house that affect how many children can fit in your home comfortably. Most importantly, consider how many children you feel comfortable taking responsibility for. Six to eight children, including the party child, tends to be a good number – big enough to prevent ‘ganging up’ and taking sides, small enough to control!


3. Send out invitations at least a week ahead of time. Include all relevant details, including a time for collection the following morning. Communication is key, so make sure you send a written invite and then follow it up on the phone. Make it clear that the party will be supervised, with an adult present for all of the activities. Speaking to each parent allows you to check for allergies, asthma and any other medical issues. It’s also a good way to get to know unfamiliar parents before you host their child. 


4. After confirming who is attending and what, if any, special needs they have, you might like to make a written note for each child detailing their parent’s names, contact info and any other relevant details. Keep the note close to hand so in the unlikely event of an emergency you don’t need to scrabble around.


5. Ask everyone to bring a sleeping bag and pillow. For younger children, especially if it’s their first time, suggest they bring a special toy or blanket. Making this a fun feature of the party will help ensure those still attached to their ‘blankies’ don’t feel like the odd one out. If the kids are still in the early years of primary school, be aware some of them may still be in pull-ups at night –especially the boys! If you are aware of any children who need to wear them, you can help prevent embarrassment and teasing by making it possible for the child to discreetly don theirs just before bedtime.


6. Have at least three or four age-appropriate videos/DVDs for the kids to watch, and make the sleepover spot convenient to the TV if possible. Even if you are relaxed about age ratings for your own children, it’s a good idea to stick to the guidelines when hosting a sleepover.


7. An excellent way to keep things under control is to set up a schedule of fun activities to start the evening. For younger kids, a disco dancing competition with little prizes can be a good way to blow off steam early in the evening. Set up a craft activity, like tiara decorating for little princesses. Older girls would love a makeover/beauty party and karaoke goes down well with everyone.


8. Stock up on snacks and beverages. If you have concerns about spills on your carpet or furniture, limit eating to the kitchen. Food can be part of the evening’s entertainment. Lay out a range of pizza toppings and let the children make their own – to be baked by you, of course! Or provide a pile of plain cupcakes, bowls of icing and lollies and let them make dessert. Don't forget to organise supplies for breakfast: no matter how much they eat the night before, they’re bound to wake up hungry.


9. Lay down the rules right from the start. They don’t need to be excessive but should be clear. Include details such as designated eating areas, bedtime and any out-of-bounds areas. Make sure you cover phone and computer use. For tweens and upwards, consider collecting mobiles at lights out. You don’t want to spoil the mood, but it’s important to be clear. For older kids, a written list – with a few jokes and illustrations thrown in – is a fun way to set the boundaries.


10. Be aware that younger kids may become anxious and scared as bedtime approaches on their first sleepover. Don’t be surprised if one of your guests decides they want to go home. Suggest they talk to mum or dad on the phone as a first step. For some, this will be enough to calm their fears. If not, arrange for the child to be picked up as soon as possible. This is not a ‘ordeal’ that has to be ‘passed’, and one unsettled child can upset the whole group. Be warned though, by the time the parent arrives, the chances are the fear will have passed and the child has changed their mind. Let the child’s parent make the call as to whether their child should stay or go. If the request is made again, however, don’t repeat the exercise, simply arrange collection and reassure the child they’ll be welcome next time.

Responding to an invitation:

1. When accepting an invitation, RSVP on your child’s behalf. If the other family is not well known to you, take time to introduce yourself properly. If you’re still feeling nervous, try talking to others who may know the family better. 


2. Don’t be afraid to communicate issues that matter to you – anything from nightmares to orthodontic plates. If your child has health problems, make it easy for the hosting parents by including a written note with any relevant information clearly listed.


3. If your child still requires nighttime nappies, make sure you provide them and let the host parent know. Reassure your child that it will be handled discreetly and that it’s nothing to be worried about or ashamed of. Remind them that plenty of kids have accidents, and that it’s better to be safe than sorry. The same goes for blankies and teddies!


4. Toys and gadgets can cause issues for the hosting parents. It’s better to restrict what your child takes with them and leave the hosts free to provide their preferred entertainment. Electronic toys can cause arguments and may end up damaged or broken. If your child really cannot be parted from their mobile for the evening, set strong ground rules and consider insisting it is given to the host parents for safekeeping at bedtime.


5. Try to restrain yourself from calling during the evening. If you’re really worried about your child being anxious at the separation, ask the hosting parents to allow him or her to call you if they need. If you’re the anxious one, consider offering to lend a hand early in the evening to settle your nerves. Once the time to leave comes, take a deep breath and just do it! 


6. It’s important to collect kids at the requested time the following morning. Chances are the hosting family will be tired and emotional by mid-morning, so make sure you collect on time!


7. Knowing when your child is ready is a big issue for many. You have to trust that the ‘sleepover parents’ will be responsible and sensitive caretakers. This should be the governing factor in deciding whether a child is ready and should participate in a sleepover.


8. Make sure you’re easily contactable throughout the evening and overnight. It’s entirely possible that you may need to collect your child due to illness, homesickness or even plain old bad behaviour. Be ready to respond to the call, and collect your child promptly with either a thank you or an apology depending on the circumstances.


9. Once the big night is over, make sure you properly thank the host parents. A thankyou card is mandatory, and a small token of thanks from you to them is a nice gesture. By the end of the night, they’re likely to be frazzled and exhausted and a little appreciation can make a big difference - especially if you turn up bright eyed and well rested thanks to a night off!

One final note, above all, enjoy!

Words: Francesca Newby. Photography: Scott Hawkins. Styling: Jo Carmichael.